Mashed Potatoes (But Good)

Don't wanna read all this shit? Get just the recipe (Thats no fun)

Essentially, mashed potatoes are the poor, saddled donkey of the food world. You can easily use a donkey (or ass, if you prefer) to haul shit around for you, and of course they're imminently useful for what they are. However, the poor ass (or donkey) simply isn't as exotic as the horse, or as powerful the ox. Similarly That is the fate of the mashed potato. Its no polenta, its no roasted fingerling and its damn sure no risotto.

Now, as one of my favorite webcomics might say, mashed potatos could be considered a low dish of dudes. However they have obviously never been to Wish Restaurant in South Beach, Miami. The only 4 star, 4 diamond restaurant in South Beach, the chef there did something that made me reconsider what I thought about the poor mashed potato. To refer to these tiny dollops of mouthsex as "mashed potatos" would be an insult to the Chef and his artistry. This was approximately 3 ounces of creamy, rich, decadent lottery winnings on your tongue.

The portion size was tiny, so i only used the very tip of my fork to eat it slowly. I've never used potato as a palate cleanser (since, by itself, the potato ranks itself somewhere between water and sandpaper in terms of blandness), but that's what I found myself doing here.

Since that fateful meal shared with my beautiful new wife on my honeymoon I've been on a tear trying to recreate the magic.

I've taken to making "Potatoes Three Ways", meaning I'll boil three potatoes at the same time, and then separate them into three different bowls and experiment. I'll then plate them and serve them in the middle of all the plates and let everyone try them and see what the verdict is.

This is my conclusion.

This recipe is specifically for red potatos, but can be adapted to any kind, simply prepare them the same way.

Tools of the trade:
whisk
food mill / potato ricer
sauce pan
pot for potatoes
small 6" or 8" pan (I prefer omelette pan)
Colander
wooden spoon

Ingredients:
1/2 cup Heavy Cream
1 Shallot Chopped
4 tbsp butter
3 medium red Potatoes or 1 Yukon potato
White pepper
Regular Salt

Step 1. Peel, and chop potatoes into roughly 1/2 inch chunks, place into cool water.

Step 2. Crank water up to boiling temperature.

Step 3. Once water is boiling, reduce temperature.

Silly Question: How low do I reduce the temperature?

Answer: How long do you want them to cook for?

Silly Question: How the hell should I know?

Answer: The lower the temperature, the longer they cook for and the more salt that absorbs into the potatoes.

Silly Question: How much salt should absorb?

Answer: *Slap*

In summary, as I mentioned above, potatos have very little inherent flavor of their own. Cooking them in salted water will help bring out additional flavor. This recipe calls for combining a lot of subtle and sweet and sour flavors, so any level of saltiness should be ok. It also depends on what you're cooking. Are you cooking steaks? Steaks cook in 10 minutes tops. You will likely want your potatoes cooking pretty fast. If you're braising lamb, you're in for 3 hours anyway, so cook as low as you want.

Ok, back to the recipe.

Step 4. Once your potatoes are nearly done, begin preparing our other sauces. See step 5 and 6 for the individual preparations.

Note: Steps 5 and 6 are not sequential, you should do them at the same time.

Silly Question: How do I know when they are done?

Answer: A toothpick or a knife, when pressed into the potato should remove very easily without dragging the potato out of the water with it.

Step 5: Cream sauce. This one is easy. Take a sauce pan (Or whatever you have, I don't care) and over low heat, melt butter into heavy cream. I usually make too much of this. This adds flavor of course, but it also adds consistency. For 2 red potatoes (or 1 yukon potato) I would likely use 2-3 tbsp of butter with 1/4 cup of heavy cream. The cream, when ready, should all be one yellowish white color. You may see some fats from the butter floating around but this is fine. I generally add white pepper into this mixture and whisk it in once the sauce is ready. Leave this alone.

Step 6: Shallots. While your cream sauce is becoming nice and creamy, we prepare the shallots. This one couldn't be easier. Put a tbsp or 2 of butter in a small pan ( I prefer an omelette pan, so I have room to move the shallots around). Once melted to the point that there ar eno large chunks, drop in your shallots. Cook on LOW heat, until they are transluscent but still soft. This is extremely important. If your heat is too high whatsoever, the shallots will become hard or, god forbid, crispy. (This ruins the dish by the way, pal.)

Step 7: Dry out your potatoes. By now, your potatoes should be practically falling apart. Poor your potatoes into your colander and let them drain. Put them back into the pot from whence they came. Let them sit there a minute. The pot is still hot, and it will help some of the water evaporate from the potatoes. (We want them creamy, not soggy damnit.)

Step 8: Put the potatoes BACK in the colander. (Left foot in, left foot out, then you... nevermind) Carefully load your potatoes into the ricer and squeeze them back into the pot. Once all of your potatoes are in the pot, add a bit of the cream we made in step 5. Whisk this until you get the desired consistency. Taste the potatoes as you go to make sure you're getting the consistency you want.

Step 9: The glorious finale. Take the pan with the shallots and your wooden spoon and scoop the shallots into the potato mixture. Do not poor, as the butter and grease from the shallots would ruin the consistency of our now beautiful whipped potatoes. Fold the shallots in, and whisk until the shallots are scattered equally throughout the potatoes.

Enjoy!

Potatoes 3 Ways

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